Ask Bill Cipher
by Spring Pines
Summary: Face it. Bill's a handful! I don't own Gravity Falls. I have to put my disclaimer in my summary. Sorry. :3
1. Chapter 1

Ask Bill Cipher!

Spring: Hi guys! It's me, Spring Pines! But just call me Spring!Anyways, today I'm with... Wait where is he?

Bill: Sorry, I was busy...

Spring: Invading people's minds?

Bill: Oh, you're good!

Spring: *shrugs* I guess its a gift! This is like

truth or dare! Please send in questions and dares!

Bill: Umm... Is this gonna like, have long term damage, cause' if it does, I needa leave now...

Spring: NO YOU DONT! *takes Bill and ties to a tree*

Bill: How is there a tree in you bedroom?

Spring: What makes you think it's _my_ bedroom? I wouldn't have some physco freak in my room! It might be yours...

Bill: I hope not...

Spring: So, my friends have sent in questions for him! (before I even posted this...) YAY! First one...

Dipperxpacifica3

Hi! Bill, if I asked you on a date, would you say yes?

Bill: Hmm...Looks like I have fangirls!... I am available by the way! *blows Kisses to fangirls, who btw are fighting each other for him...*

Spring: Why was the first one about relationships?! But anyway... My bff personally asked this one! *grins evilly*

Bill: Oh no... am I supposed to run now or what?

Spring: NO! DON'T RUN! OR ELSE!

Bill: am I supposed to say "or else what?"

Spring: Yes your are supposed to say that! Now! *points gun at Bill*

Bill: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Whoa. Put the gun down. We can be friends...

Spring: NEVER! *shoots right below feet.*  
>Bill: I am even more scared of you then MLP now...<p>

Spring: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH! THAT WAS AMAZING! YOUR FACE! AHAHAHAHAHA! Wait. You're scared of MLP?

Bill: Go on with the dares please...

Spring: answer the question, Dorito! *aims gun at once more*

Bill: Fine! yes, i'm scared of MLP, the talking ponies and the "Friendship is Magic" is freaking scary, And you're recording this aren't you?  
>Spring: You mean, recorded? *puts down gun and picks up phone* It's viral! In 5 seconds!<p>

Bill: Oh My Dreamscape!

Spring: Oh my, what now?

Bill: Nothing...

Spring: ONTO THE DARE! Ok, Bill you have to go up and kiss Dipper and Mabel, on the lips! (Alas, Thank you friend! I needed to see this!) Go crazy MaBill fans! Same with BillDip fans ( BillDip fans are awesome! I love you to Mabill fans!)

Bill: WHAT?!  
>Spring: *snaps fingers and they appear at Mystery Shack*<p>

Bill: Do I have to?...

Spring: Only if you wanna live... *smirks*

Bill: I hate you...*knocks on door*

Mabel: Hello? AHHHHHHH! TRIANGLE GUY!  
>Bill: Let me ex-<p>

Mabel: Dipper!

Bill: UGH... *grabs up by the sweater and kisses*

Mabel: ... DIPPER! TRIANGLE GUY! *slams door*

Dipper: *opens door and hits Bill in the head with a book.*

Bill: I'm gonna regret this... *takes Dipper by vest and kisses*

Dipper: I'm gonna puke...

Bill: Sorry kiddos! I'm gonna make it up to ya!

Spring: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS AWESOME! *snaps Bill and herself back to the 'room'*

Bill: ...

Spring: Bill?

Bill: ...

Spring: Bill? *waves hand over his face, which is unresponsive*

I think we broke him... Well, until he wakes up, let's draw on him! *draws* Here's a list of what I drew!

around his eye/under his eye: Mustache and beard (normal face stuff) oh and a mole.

bowtie area: Dipper and Mabel murdering him with an ax! *My favorite thing I drew*

Hands/arms : Curly patterns

Legs: I didn't draw on those, instead I put some of my leggings on him. It's kinda disturbing, Yanno? If ya notice, he doesn't wear pants... HE DOES NOW! wait... I got an idea! *erases everything* I put lipstick on him. (Well where his mouth would be...) and eye liner, and mascara! I put one of my sundresses on him, which makes him look 'gorgeous' (Aka hilarious)

But anyways! See you next chapter! Don't forget to send in dares and questions!


	2. Chapter 2

Spring: Hey guys! Bill is waking up! I can't wait to see his face!

Bill: Where am I? What happened?

Spring: You had to kiss Dipp- Pine Tree and Shooting Star, and you passed out!  
>Bill: Really? Ugh. Why am I wearing a sun dress though?<p>

Spring: Umm... You are wearing a dress because... You were...um... playing Truth or dare with... some old ladies!

_Nailed it!_

Bill: Really? Did I win?

Spring: Of course you didn't! You're wearing a dress Bill!

Bill: How do I look? (poses)

Spring: You look like a stupid dorito that's going to prom.

Bill: *Turns into a human without make up and stuff* Now?

Spring: U-uh... You l-look uh...

Bill: Stuttering... First sign of a cr-

Spring: ANYWAYS! Let's get to those dares and questions!

this one is from...

Rachel Corduroy

Ok! *grins evilly* You must go on a date with Spring! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M SUCH A PAIN IN THE BEHIND!

Spring: Let's skip that one...

Bill: Nope! It's a dare. And it'll be our first date!

Spring: *shudders* I'd rather go on a date with Gideon!

Bill: No. You wouldn't. Believe me.

Spring: Oh my god. What did you just say?!

Bill: What?! I didn't say anything! What words came out of my mouth? What are words?!

Spring: You've been on a date with Gideon! OMG! WAIT UNTIL I LITERALLY GO AROUND ON YOUTUBE, screaming you've been on a date with Gideon!

Bill: NO! I'LL DO ANYTHING! HE TRICKED ME! Wait a minute... You were joshin' me...

Spring: Yes. Yes I was. Actually, i'd like to introduce you to a good friend of mine! Soren! And he's _not _my boyfriend!

Soren: Hello! I'm a big friend of Gravity Falls, but sadly I don't have a fanfiction account.

Spring: My deepest condolences.

Soren: Thank you Spring. And did I hear you say something about Bill and Gideon on a date?

Spring: Yes! I found out Bill is gay...

Bill: I'm not gay! He tricked me! That little bastard tricked me!

Soren: Calm down Bill! This is rated K+. So you can't say things like that!

Spring: Yeah! Don't make me give you the the gun...

Bill: *Shuts up*

Soren: Thank you! *pulls out phone and texts something*

Bill: What are you texting?!

Soren: Oh, about yours and Spring's big date tonight! Oh btw Bill, you gotta pay for dinner. Guys always pay for the meal. I found that out the hard way...

*flashback*

Soren: So, are we gonna pay now or what?

Girl: Yeah, I guess so...

*they stare at each other awkwardly*  
>Girl: Well aren't you going to pay? The guy always pays for the meal.<p>

Soren: ... What...?

Girl: You don't have any money on you?! Me neither! God damnmit...

Soren: We better run...

*end of flashback*

Bill: You done with that flashback?

Soren: Done. Anyway, I can't wait for your guy's date!

Spring: What?! There is NOT going to be a date! Especially with Bill!

Bill: What?! Come on! It was a dare! So, we have to!

Soren: Yeah! So, where are you gonna take her Bill?

Bill: A REALLY fancy restaurant. I was gonna order steak too...

Spring: Steak you say? Maybe i'll go if it doesn't take to long...`

Bill: That's the spirit!

Soren: Ok, now... Bill go invade peoples minds or something.

Bill: Don't have to tell me twice! *flashes out of room*

Spring: I don't really have to go on a date with him do I?!

Soren: Sorry Spring. But I already picked out your dress.

Spring: No one said anything about dresses!

Soren: Actually, I just did! Come on, it's really pretty! It's flowy, and has sequins. It's also got a V neck! I was tempted to cut it into a W neck, but I decided against it.

Spring: Are you sure you're a guy? You seem to know a lot about dresses...

Soren: Last time I checked, yes. I am a guy.

Spring: ... That's a conversation i'll never be able get out of my head...

Soren: Hey! You asked. Come on... i'll go on a date with you later if you try it on.

Spring: A date with you, eh? No.

Soren: OH MY GOD SPRING! JUST PUT THE DAMN DRESS ON!

Spring: No.

Soren: FINE THEN! *tackles and attempts to get her into dress*

Spring: AHHHH! HEY! GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM THERE!

See you guys next chapter...


	3. Chapter 3

Bill: She's even more beautiful with that dress on...

Spring: That's gross Bill... Soren!

Soren: Yes?

Spring: You are SO lucky this dress looks great on me. Or else i'd be burying your dead body!

Soren: I'll take that as a compliment! Get out of here you two lovebirds!

Bill: *puts arm over Spring's shoulder* Come on babe.

Spring: I'm not your babe, Bill!

Bill: Eh, I'm still gonna call you babe, deal with it.

Spring: Ugh!

*they walk out of room*  
>Soren: Hehe! Excellent! Now, who's ready to spy on them, in a non-creepy sorta way!?<p>

Mabel: Me! Me!

Dipper: Sure, I could use some entertainment.

Soren: How did you guys get here?

Mabel: I don't know... We just kinda appeared! Maybe it has something to do with the date... Because as we all know... I am a dating expert.

Dipper: We all know that's not true. Look what happened between you and Gideon! I had to break up with him for you, instead of you doing it yourself!

Mabel: He just got really clingly...

Soren: Anyways, let's go spy on Bill Cipher, and Spring Pines!

Dipper: Wait, like our sister, Spring Pines?

Soren: Yep!

Mabel and Dipper: AWESOME!

Soren: I know right?!

Dipper: Wait, is this her choosing, or against her will?

Soren: I tackled her to get her into the dress, what do you think?

Mabel: Definately against her will then. Let's go!

_***at the restaurant***_

Spring: Bill, you are _so _lucky that this is rated K+.

Bill: Why?

Spring: Wait... I just can't _show_ you getting hurt!

Bill: Wait, what?

Spring: So if I drag you off stage...

Bill: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Spring, don't even try what you're thinking!

Spring: Therefore, I could hurt you! Just not in front of the camera! *grins evilly*

Bill: IF YOU'RE READING THIS, COME SAVE ME BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

Spring: *drags Bill off stage, where you can hear his high pitched girly screams*

_***meanwhile off stage***_

Spring: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! CHAIN SAW!

Bill: GOD DAMMIT WOMEN, LEAVE ME ALONE!

Spring: NEVER!

*They both take their seats back in the restaurant like nothing ever happened. Accept Bill has bruises on his face*

Chef: You're dinner. *puts plates on the table*

*they eat in silence*

Spring: You realize Dipper, Mabel, and Soren are watching us, right?

Bill: Yeah, I noticed. They're the ones wearing the trenchcoats.

Spring: Wanna mess with them?

Bill: *grins* sure.

_**the next booth over...**_

*Dipper's watching Bill and Spring, suddenly they grab each others hands and stare lovingly into each other's eyes.*

Dipper: Should we be worried about that?

Soren: Nah! It's just romance happening- wait a minute! That shouldn't be happening!

*Soren attempts to get up, but Mabel sits him back down. He tries to protest, but she puts a finger over his mouth*

Mabel: Let nature take it's course.

Dipper: That's nasty Mabel. Where do you learn this stuff?!

Mabel: Grunkle Stan!

Dipper and Soren: ...

Soren: You must have a closer relationship with Stan than I thought!

Mabel: EWW! NO! I-I sometimes read his magazines...

Dipper: Those "fully clothed women" magazines?

Mabel: Maybe...

Soren: Yeah... Just ignore that last part of the conversation...

Mabel: Yeah.

*they suddenly hear Bill and Spring's conversation*

_**(A/N If you want effect, listen to My heart will go on, titanic theme!)**_

Bill: I wish they wouldn't be the ones to keep us apart.

Spring: Maybe if we ran away, we could be together. Bill...

Bill: Spring...

*as they start to lean in, Dipper intervenes*

Dipper: WHAT THE HELL?! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO LOVE EACH OTHER!

(_**Cut the sappy music, and go on reading)**_

Spring: But Dipper! I LOVE him!

Bill: Just saying, you're not invited to the wedding.

Dipper, Spring, Mabel, and Soren: _**WEDDING?!**_

Bill: Of course, I forgot. Spring, can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?!

Spring: Can I say something even crazier? Yes!

Dipper: NO!

Bill and Spring: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FELL FOR IT!

Dipper, Soren, And Mabel: What?  
>Spring: You thought I loved him?! Thank god that's done!<p>

Bill: Sure she's hot. And Spring Cipher rolls off the tongue...

*he stops because everyone is staring at him.*  
>Bill: WHAT?!<p>

Spring: You know what!

Dipper: That was disturbing...

Spring: Bill, you realize people will probably start shipping us right?

Bill: *grins* I know. And I love it.

Spring: You're not even gonna hide your affections for me?

Bill: Nope!

Spring: You realize i'm not interested.

Bill: Yep.

Spring: Then why do you try?

Bill: That's a good question. And I don't have an answer.

Mabel: He's even worse than Gideon...

Bill: No. No i'm not. At least i'm not forcing her into a relation- *evil grin*

Spring: NO! *snaps fingers and they now appear in the Tree Room*

Mabel: Tree room! Wait is this gonna just be truth or dare, or just truth or dare for Bill?

Soren: Just truth or dare for Bill. But you guys can hang around for awhile!

Dipper: That sounds great! What'd you think Spring?

*they look around but Spring isn't anywhere to be found. Neither is Bill.*  
>Soren:Well, I think they disappeared into a closet together!<p>

Mabel: Where nature will take it's course!  
>Dipper: No Mabel. Just no.<p>

*they all hear a high pitched girly scream*

Soren, Dipper, and Mabel: Yep. That's Bill.


	4. Chapter 4

Dipper: Where were you?!

Bill: Getting mauled by fangirls. They wouldn't leave us alone unless we signed autographs...

Spring: Those girls were ruthless! They knocked out two of my teeth! I look like i'm 6 again!

Mabel: Ouch...

Bill: She's still gorgeous though.

Spring: Readers, I hope you are enjoying this... This is like torture to me! But anyways, we got questions! She said call her Forest, so I will. Anyways, Forest asked,

_**Bill, do you have any brothers?**_

Bill: Yes. But we're not really that close, so yeah...

Mabel: Did you kill him?

Bill: No, but I want to.

Soren: Well ladies and gentlemen, can you say motivation?

Spring: I feel sorry for your brother... And stop with the sarcasm Soren.

Bill: anything else?

Spring: Actually, she had a bunch of things poured into 1 review!

Dipper: Is there anything that will harm Bill in any way?

Bill: Why would you want me to get hurt P.T?!

Dipper: 1. You broke into my Grunkle's mind. 2. You possessed my body, and gave me pains that lasted for at least a week!

3. You kissed Mabel and I just this morning! Should I go on?

Bill: Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Soren: He _kissed _you?!

Bill: It was a dare! Keep reading that forest girl's thing please.

Spring: Oh yeah, I almost forgot about her! Sorry Forest! Anyways, keep reading... She also said,

_Is there one night when you kind of lose control over yourself and so a little too insane. Like how wolves do to the Full Moon?_

Bill: Kid, That's every single night of my life! Being a demon makes you pretty damn crazy!

Soren: Crazy? That's it?! Dude, you're insane!

Mabel: Yep.

Dipper: Yeah, a little bit...

Spring: I don't know what being crazy would feel like.

Bill: Ever had smile dip?

Spring: No...

Bill: Go eat some then you'll know. Except its a little more evil than that stuff. But it's almost the same.

Spring: No thank you! Anyways, the third one says,

_Name 1 pairing that you wish never existed for Gravity Falls._

Bill: BillDip. Hands down.

Dipper: Wait, whaaaa?

Bill: You heard me.

Soren: Not Mabill? Dipeon? Pinescest? There are worse ships then you and Dipper.

Dipper: I disagree.

Bill: Me too.

Mabel: What's Mabill? Wait, don't answer that..

Spring: Wasn't gonna. And anyways, I ship Mabill! And BillDip!

Mabel: You. Our own sister? Ship Dipper and I with this lunatic?!

Bill: Can we stop talking about ships and get on with the dares/questions?

Spring: Yeah, let's do that. I'm glad no one asked about Pinescast. That one sucks in my opinion. Anyways,

_Spring can you see what happens when you two go to church or when Bill gets holy water on him?_

Bill: No! Don't. do. It!

Dipper: I'll go get the camera!

Bill: No way! *tackles Dipper*

Spring:We are going to church! *snaps fingers and Bill is floating yet is frozen*

Mabel:Ok! See you in, like, 3 hours!

Spring: Nope. Dip, Mabel, Soren, You're coming too.

Dipper: What?

Mabel: OK!

Soren: Do I have too?

Spring: Soren, think about it. You just asked if you have to go to church. Of course you have to go!

Mabel: It's Sunday?

Spring: Surprisingly, yes. Oh yeah. *snaps fingers and Bill falls to the ground*

Bill: NOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO!

Spring: You could be a good boy, or I could force you. You're choice.

Bill: ... Fine... But I don't see the need to go.

Soren: We're still going.

Bill: Darn.

Spring: Let's go!

...

*They walk into the church, where people are starting to take their seats*

Bill: Is it to late to turn back...? I'd honestly rather listen to synthesized music...

Soren: That can be arranged...

Spring: No, it can't Soren. Bill we're already here. Let's take our seats.

Bill: I will burn down this building once we're out of here! I'm not scared to do it!

Dipper: Bill, everyone heard you. Literally everyone in the church...

*Bill looks around, and indeed everybody is staring at him with horror*

Bill: Uh... I have a good reason!

Preist: You better! Why in the name of Christ would you burn down the house of God?!

Mabel: I'm not with him! *Dipper and Mabel run off*

Spring: *crosses arms with a smug look on face* I want to see how this turns out!

Bill: Non-specific excuse! We better run... *grabs Spring's arm and literally drags her out of the church*

*everyone is screaming and acting like an angry mob*

Spring: They're taking it easy, surprisingly.

Bill: I hardly see why *pant* people go to *pant* worship, that son of a-

Spring: Don't use that language Bill!

Bill: You'd be cussing like this, if you were *pant* running and dragging *pant* someone along with you!

Spring: Yeah, my butt has been skidding on the road for a couple blocks now, so if you could just lift me up, I could run by myself.

Bill: Oh right. Sorry. *lifts up and she gets back up on her feet*

Spring: *looks behind* These guys just don't give up! They're acting like a you're a Witch! You know how Gravity Falls is about Witches.

Bill: *facepalm* Why didn't I just snap us back to the Tree Room?

Spring: I don't know. You tell me.

Bill: Because i'm an idiot! That's why! *snaps fingers, they appear in the "Tree Room" along with Dipper, Mabel, and Soren*

Spring: Hehehe. You called yourself an idiot!

Soren: HAHA! ZING!

Mabel: Soren! That's my line!  
>Dipper: Darn! My slushie...<p>

Spring: What? You went to the mall, when Bill and I where being chased down by a angry mob of Christians?! or Cathlics. Not sure which...

Soren: You got chased by religious people?

Bill: Yeah. While you were getting slush- *sees Spring pouting* Ok, What's wrong now?

Spring: Th-they got da slushies... And didn't get me one! I feel like crying now.

Bill: Chin up. I'll get you one later. Okay?

Spring: OKAY! Don't forget. I'll kill you if you forget.

Bill: Okay, you just made sure I won't forget.

Spring: Good. Anyways... Forest again!

_Who would you want to be your apprentice in Gravity Falls?_

Bill: No one. I'm perfectly fine on my own.

Spring: Not an answer Bill.

Soren: Can I read the next one?

Spring: Yes. Dipper, go get me my slushie.

Dipper: Bill was going to do it! And it'll be kinda like your do over date! Just no proposing to each other!

Spring: I don't want a do over date! I. WANT. MY. SLUSHIE!

Mabel: Better get it Dipper!

Dipper: Fine! What flavor?

Spring: Umm... I don't know. Just get... some sort of soda flavor. Oh, and when you're out buying my slushie, could you get me a bag of Doritos? They have to be nacho flavor.

Dipper: Ugh. Fine! *stomps out of room*

Spring: Ok, where were we? Oh yeah, apprentice. Bill choose someone. You won't have to hire them. Promise! *crosses fingers behind back*

Bill: Umm... You, Spring?

Spring: DARNIT! I'm now you're apprentice...

Bill: What?  
>Spring: I crossed my fingers when I said You won't have to hire them...<p>

Bill: HAHA! Boom! Anyways, since you are now my apprentice, I have a certain outfit you need to wear.

Spring: NO! SAVE ME SOREN!  
>Soren: Should I...? Nah. What outfit did you have in mind Bill?<p>

Bill: *grins* Why don't we see her in it, huh?

Mabel: Hehe. I'm sorry Spring...

Spring: I have Gideon in my contacts, Mabel! Don't push my buttons!

Mabel: *shuts up*

Bill: Bathroom is the door to the left. *hands Spring an outfit*

Spring: *takes outfit and walks into the bathroom, then locking the door*

Mabel: What was that about?

Soren: You chiqui demon, you.

Bill: Hehehe. You almost done in there, Spring?

Spring: This is embarrassing. Do I have to?!

Bill: Yes. You're my apprentice! Annnnnnnnnnd I wanna see you in that dress! Notice anything about it?

Spring: No unless you count it being based off of you... Then no.

Bill: DING DING DING! Right on the nose! Come on out! Or i'll bust down that door!

Spring: You won't bust down that door! And i'm staying in here! This is even more embarrassing then... Something I had to do in 3rd grade.

Mabel: Oh! Are you talking about th-

Spring: Yes Mabel! That's what i'm talking about.

Soren: You have to tell me that story later, Spring.

Spring: Kinda preoccupied by hiding in the bathroom from Bill!

Bill: Oh come on! This is ridiculous! *walks over to door and literally kicks it down*

Spring: AHHHHH! WHAT IF I'D BEEN NAKED?!

Bill: Then I guess it would have been my lucky day. Come on! You actually look really good in that!

Spring: I hate you... *walks out of bathroom*

*The dress is yellow and goes down to her knees. She has black high heel boots, and black lace up gloves on. The dress also has 1 single eye in the middle. She has a yellow headband, and has her hair pulled up into a ponytail. And one of those tight leather jackets for girls.*

Mabel: OH MY GOD! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD BE HIS GIRLFRIEND!

Bill: *pulls Spring into a side hug* See? They like it!

Spring: *sits back down* I look like I you just puked on me.

Soren: It's not _that _bad!

Bill: *sits down* where's P.T?

Dipper: I'm her- OH. MY. GOD. What did you do to my sister?! She looks like you puked yourself up on her!

Spring: He gets me! *snatchs slushie and chips out of hands*

Dipper: This is what I get for running errands for you guys. My sister looking like she could be married to Bill!

Spring: *rolls eyes* Don't remind me! *eats a Dorito. Which is indeed shaped like a triangle* Mmmm, Nacho flavor!

Bill: *stares in horror at the triangle shaped chips* Poor chips...

Soren: Dude, you won't be saying that when you get a taste of those chips!

Spring: Anyways, we got another dare! Long story short, Bill. Kiss waddles.

Mabel: THAT'S MEAN TO WADDLES!

Bill: Just kiss the pig?! Pfft, to easy!

Spring: Have you ever *slurp* kissed a pig before? *shoves fistful of Doritos in mouth*

Bill: Yes.

Dipper: You could of just said no. That's sorta TMI.

Bill: Being honest.

Spring: I'll make this harder for you, since you stuck me in this outfit...

Mabel: I'm still not letting you touch him!

Spring: You have to kiss Waddles' butt!

Soren: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bill: You don't know where his butt has been!

Mabel: You don't want to know!

Everyone: ...

Spring: Nevermind, you don't have to kiss Waddles' butt. That conversation disturbed the hell out of me... Just kiss the pig already! *snaps fingers and Waddles pops into the middle of the room*

Mabel: NOOOOOOOOOO! LEAVE MY PIG ALONE!

*Dipper and Soren restrain her from hurdling herself towards the beloved pet*

Bill: Well, here goes nothing... *picks the pig up and kisses the horrified animal*

Mabel: MY POOR BABY!

Bill: Ugh. *sets the terrified pig down*

*Mabel bursts into tears because Bill kissed her pig*

Spring: Mabel!

Mabel: *is still crying*

Spring: MABEL!

Mabel: *_still _crying*

Spring: DRAMA MAMA! Your pig is fine! See? *snaps fingers and Waddles disappears back to the Shack*

Mabel: You *sniffle* monster! Waddles is probably *sniff* scarred for life!

Bill: Whoa kid. Just whoa. It's not like when I kiss something, it dies.

Soren: How do you know?

Bill: I've kissed plenty of people before. None of them died from me kissing them.

Mabel: Okay. I guess. *sniffles*

Spring: I think we'll wrap this up... And thank you for the dares by the way!


	5. Chapter 5

Spring: Ok, we cooled Mabel down a bit...

Mabel: Yeah... Bill explained to me when he kisses something, they aren't poisoned. He proved it by kissing Spring!

Bill: Hehehe.

Spring: Don't remind me. Anyways, we got dares! And questions. So, this one is from Guest. They said,

_Could you have Bill watch MLP? PUH-LEEZE?!_

Bill: NO! NUH UH!

Soren: Yay! Can I watch it too? PUH-LEEZE!?

Spring: You're a brony?

Soren: Yep! And i'm proud!

Mabel: Well, you can't judge that!

Spring: We shall watch MLP! We'll watch Equestria Girls! Sorry Corn-Chip.

Bill: I'm NOT a corn chip! And WHY do you people hate me? I didn't even wanna be in this stupid fanfiction!

Spring: You should of been watching your back, when I snuck up on you before the writer began writing this!

Dipper: How do you know what was happening before this fanfiction?

Spring: Because i'm writing it!

Soren: Oh... That makes sense.

Bill: You actually dream about Gravity Falls? That shows your obsession, but you gotta stop watching it so much you start dreaming about it.

Spring: I can control you!

Bill: Yeah. You came up with my obsession over you. Not me.

Spring: HEY! A girl can dream! So shut up! *grabs MLP Equestria Girls movie case*

Mabel: You had that right there?

Spring: Yes. You have a problem with that?

Mabel: No.

Spring: Good.

Soren: Word to the wise guys, Spring is scary and could kill you right now if she wanted.

Spring: But I don't want to right now, because this story is K+ so I can't kill you guys. Especially _this _guy! *points to Bill*

Bill: *glares* Just play the stupid movie.

Spring: Okay! Dipper, put it in. I'm getting the popcorn. *walks out of room*

Bill: Let's run!

Mabel: She going to catch you if you run. Face it Bill. She's even more powerful then you in this fanfiction. She's controlling us right now...

Dipper: True... So she knows what i'm thinking?

Soren: Everyone know what your thinking!

Bill, Mabel, Soren: Wendy!

Dipper: So True...

Everyone: Haha!

Spring: Whatcha' laughing about?

Bill: Oh! You're back...And-out of the dress I gave you!

Spring: Yeah, I have the power to change the story! Kinda like Super-Why! Kinda cool actually. Anyways... Dares and questions. *pops movie in*

*everyone watches the surprisingly good MLP movie*

Bill: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Spring: Bill, what are you saying? You sound like you're snorin- BILL!

Bill: What?! I'm up! i'm up! Ooh popcorn! *takes a handful of popcorn and shoves it in mouth*

Soren: No! Don't go through the mirror, Twilight! And she fell in.

Mabel: This is almost as good as DBH!

Bill: *spits popcorn out* Bleugh! Why is this popcorn soggy?!

Spring: I like it with extra, extra, extra butter! Got a problem with that?!

Bill: No...

Soren: Good answer!

Dipper: This is a surprisingly good movie... Stupid Sunset Shimmer.

*movie ends*

Spring: I liked Fluttershy.

Mabel: Pinkie-Pie!

Soren: Twilight shouldn't of fell through that mirror.

Dipper: I guess I liked RainbowDash...

Bill: Oh my god! I would of rather listened to Shrillex!

Soren: DO IT!

Spring: Soren, calm down.

Soren: Sorry... Anyways, we got some dares! And questions. Pfft. I like the dares. This is from SongofPeace16!

_I dare Bill to 1:_

_Kiss a donkeys butt (it poops in his mouth and Mabel records it as payback for him kissing Waddles and gets six million views on YouTube)_

_2: Kill Kenny_

Bill: No. I'll kill Kenny, whoever he is. But I will seriously kill anyone (meaning SongofPeace 16!) If I have to kiss a donkey's butt!

Spring: We'll skip the donkey butt, but we'll come up with something else.

Mabel: Aw... He deserves it for kissing Waddles! The poor pig is tramautized! He said it himself!

Dipper: Waddles doesn't talk Mabel.

Bill: Who's Kenny?

Spring: A character from South Park.

Bill: Oh... Umm.. Do I have to?

Spring: I'd prefer you didn't, but just go do it. He already dies a lot...

Bill: Then we can just wait em' out.

Dipper: Come on! You'd enjoy killing him!

Bill: I'm insane. Not a serial-killer.

Mabel: True.

Soren: Fine. Anyways... Hi Forest!

Forest: Hi guys! I just wanted to do something.

Spring: By all means! I have a feeling I already know.

Forest: *dumps holy water on Bill, then runs off, laughing*

Bill: Seriously? Holy water doesn't do anything...

Forest: DAMMIT! *slumps out of room*

Dipper: Well... That was trippy...

Mabel: Agreed!

Spring: We'll have to wrap this chapter up. Sorry guys! Bye!


	6. Authors Note

Sorry guys, I won't be able to update for awhile. Homework, school dances, and E-Stars and such. I'm not abandoning the story, but I won't be able to update for awhile. :(


	7. Chapter 6

**Bill:** hehe. That was fun.  
><strong>Soren:<strong> Bill, are you going to-  
><strong>Nevaeh<strong>: Hey guys! Am I late?  
><strong>Spring<strong>: Nevaeh! How are you?! Come in! Come in! Readers, listen up! This is Neveah (Neveah Productions) and this the first fanfiction that she's been in, I believe. (Other than her own.) You have to read her stories! They are amazing!  
><strong>Nevaeh<strong>: *blushes* No they're not. I'm just so happy to be here!  
><strong>Mabel:<strong> we're happy you're here too!  
><strong>Bill:<strong> Not this girl! She wrote a fanfiction basicly just like this one, and forced me to love her!  
>*Nevaeh's cheeks start turning red from anger and embarrassment*<br>**Spring:** I gave her permission! Her stories are amazing, and better than I could ever write mine! And i'm forcing you to love me! Literally no difference.  
><strong>Everyone else<strong>: ...  
><strong>Spring: <strong>Pretend I didn't say that.  
><strong>Bill:<strong> Yes! I knew you loved me!  
><strong>Soren<strong>: I bet that little scene at the restaraunt wasn't just a setup, was it? *wiggles eyebrows*  
><strong>Spring:<strong> NEVAEH! FOLLOW ME! WE HAVE SOME SCHEMING TO DO!  
>*Drags Nevaeh out of the room*<p>

**Bill**: Dang. I'm scared now.  
><strong>Dipper:<strong> I'm just surprised she admitted she made you love her, since she's technicly controlling the story...  
><strong>Soren<strong>: I forgot she has control over everything... She could kill me right now if she wanted too... Please don't do it Spring!

**_Writer: FINE! I won't do it. But i'm not making any promises about Bill._**

**Soren:** Fine with me!  
><strong>Bill<strong>: She wouldn't kill me.  
><strong>Soren<strong>: Yes she would.

**_Writer: No I wouldn't Soren. I kinda have a soft spot for the little dorito._**

**Bill:** Knew it!  
><strong>Mabel:<strong> Ooh... Spring, can you get me a gigantic thing of industrial sprinkles?

_**Writer: Anything for Mabel! Here you go!**_

*sprinkles magicly appear in front of Mabel*

**Mabel**: Yum! *shoves fistful in mouth*  
><strong>Dipper:<strong> Spring, just switch over to what you and Neveah are plotting. I don't think anyone want's to see Mabel, Soren, and Bill talk to the girl who's not really who she says she is-MMMRPH?! *cork appears in his mouth*

**_Writer: KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT KID! YOU ARE DEALING WITH A MAJOR FANGIRL! YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW MUCH YOU WERE ABOUT TO COST ME! I HAVE A REPUTATION HERE! ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN ME?!_**

**Bill**: Trust me, Spring. Pine Tree won't stop at anything to get his point across. That's why I possessed his body! In a way...

_**Writer: Yeah... This is getting sorta creepy. I'll switch over.**_

* * *

><p>Somewhere where Nevaeh and Spring are plotting.<p>

* * *

><p>Neveah: Usually when people get dragged into a dark closet, they get murdered. Or rap-<p>

Spring: Shut up Neveah! I'll turn on the light. *flips the light switch*

Neveah: Ooo much better.  
>Spring: Ok. So, I was thinkin-<br>Neveah: That's dangerous!  
>Spring: Shh! Anyways, I was thinking we cou-<br>Neveah: *raises hand*  
>Spring: *rolls eyes* What do you want, Neveah?<br>Neveah: Where's the bathroom?  
>Spring: Why do you need to go?<br>Neveah: I have to PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *starts hopping from foot to foot, doing the potty dance*  
>Spring: I don't know! Who goes to the bathrooms in fanfictions?<br>Neveah: I GOTTA GO! HURRY UP, OR YOU'LL BE BUYING ME A NEW PAIR OF PANTS.  
>Spring: Well, there isn't anywhere you can go.<br>Neveah: I'll keep stuttering until you find a place where I can go pee!  
>Spring: DON'T YOU DARE!<br>Neveah: I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I Spring: Mute. *presses a mute button* Much better. Anyways, we'll go find that memory erasing machine, and then we'll erase Bill's memory of ever having a crush on me! Then he'll develop another one, but then we'll erase his mind again.  
>Neveah: *looks at Spring with big eyes*<br>Spring: Oh yeah. Sorry. *snaps fingers and Neveah is un-muted.  
>Neveah: THANK YOU!<br>Spring: *snaps fingers and a bathroom door appears about 4 feet away* You can go to the bathroom now.  
>Neveah: *looks down at the ground*<br>Spring: Neveah...?  
>Neveah: I already took care of that problem...<br>Spring: You...WHAT?! DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST PEE YOUR PANTS?!  
>Neveah: I sowee...<br>Spring: Today has been way stressful guys, *snaps fingers and Spring has the mind eraser in her hand, and Neveah has a clean pair of pants on* Let's go.

* * *

><p>Spring: We're back. And I have something to tell you Bill. *grips hand around the mind eraser*<br>Bill: Wait. Before you do, I wanna do something for you.  
>Dipper: I disagreed with everything!<br>Mabel: It's so beautiful!  
>Soren: Sit, Spring. Nev, you come over here. Neveah: *walks over to Soren*<br>Soren: *makes her sit on his lap. Causing her to giggle* Bill: PT! Get me my guitar!  
>Dipper: *hands accoustic guitar to Bill, while muttering some not so nice words.<br>Spring: Oh no.

**_(**A**/N I handed the computer to my BFF so I literally have no control over this next part. I have no idea what she's going to do. If you wanna blame someone for how terrible this next part is, blame Rachel Corduroy!)_**

Bill: *plays a few notes* _I still hear you voice when you sleep next to me-_  
>Spring: Bill, that song is sung by a girl.<br>Bill: Shh... Don't interrupt while i'm singing to you.  
>*The room is quiet, so Bill starts again.*<br>Bill: _I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me._  
><em>I still feel your touch in my dream.<em>  
><em>Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why Without you it's hard to survive.<em>

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._  
><em>And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly.<em>  
><em>Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.<em>  
><em>Need you by my side.<em>  
><em>'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.<em>  
><em>And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.<em>  
><em>Can't you hear my heart beat so...<em>  
><em>I can't let you go.<em>  
><em>Want you in my life.<em>

_Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky._  
><em>They wipe away tears that I cry.<em>  
><em>The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.<em>  
><em>You make me rise when I fall.<em>

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._  
><em>And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly.<em>  
><em>Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.<em>  
><em>Need you by my side.<em>  
><em>'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.<em>  
><em>And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.<em>  
><em>Can't you hear my heart beat so...<em>  
><em>I can't let you go.<em>  
><em>Want you in my life.<em>

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._  
><em>And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly.<em>  
><em>Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.<em>  
><em>Need you by my side.<em>

Spring: *tears well up in eyes*  
>Bill: You don't like it?<br>Spring: No. I love it! *runs over and kisses Bill on the lips*

**_(A/N I just got my computer back, and my best friend has the computer locked to where I can't delete any of what she just typed. Just saying, she's behind me laughing her head off. Go crazy people who like the SpringXBill shipping.)_**

*the kiss grows more passionate, causing everyone else to look away*

Dipper: Eww. That's gross.  
>Mabel: *elbows soren in the rib* Told ya! Nature will take it's course.<br>Soren: *shudders* I'm on Dipper's side.  
>Neveah: So cute! Let's leave them be.<br>We'll be doing dares next chapter. I CALL DIBS ON THE FIRST ONE!

Spring: OH MY GOD! IS THAT CAMERA STILL ON?! SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF!

**_TECHNICLE DIFFICULTIES_**


End file.
